Sunday, May 15, 2011

homesick (countrysick?)

Dear Lord,

if it is in your will, please bring back there someday. why am i homesick for a country that is not my own? why do you stir my heart for the nations when you keep me here?

i feel so homesick that i can't sleep, can't help but remember and pray... Be faithful to your children in Mongolia, Lord!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

hemming clothes and hearts

as i repair the old winter conference banner by sewing loose pieces together, God brought this to mind "You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me" (ps 139:5). beautiful, beautiful.

hemming brings pieces of cloth together. dresses are hemmed last of all to ensure proper length. in the same way, He has always hemmed my life. been worrying about future mate lately.

SURELY the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. what have i to worry about? if God is with us, who can be against?

But LORD, i am impatient, hot headed and do not trust your hemming to be perfect and straight. also, sewing takes FOREVER.... let's just roughly staple things together and move on?

*sigh* but your works are wonderful, i know that full well. i wait, Lord, but pray that you make sense of a situation where i see no ending

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

blessed sacrifice

Lord, hear the cries of your children in India.
be quick to deliver, Savior!

Monday, October 11, 2010

mom's email

Annie ,calm down,don:t cry.and be brave. Mom

*sigh* seeing this makes me want to go home.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

will i still praise your name?

if i must wait for a long time before having spiritual children again.
will i hold a grudge against my God?

if i never receive the man i wish for
will i still praise you name as much as i do in the good times?

if Your call is to go somewhere i don't want to go
will i follow hard irregardless of judgment and the consequences?

... must pray must pray must pray

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Saturday, September 11, 2010

smack in the face.. haha

just found out two of my childhood friends were pregnant/have gotten married and have given birth.

Dear Lord, i am 22, single, no children, in a horrid doctoral program where i am aging at 4x the speed i normally would...

what am i doing with my life?!!?!?!?!


and i then i realize how far He's brought me.
i've been overseas twice.
i've seen a glimpse of God's awesome love for the nations
i've been blessed to be a part of it
i've been broken over and over and remade by the Maker's hands

i'm where i'm supposed to be right now after 4 years.

security. in Jesus, in his divine plan, in His love.
it's all i want, it's all i need.
if His love is better than life...
it's definitely better than being a mother
it's better than being married
therefore, my lips will glorify the King

coming back to the heart of worship.
i don't want to think myself childish or immature

...merely enjoying life. <3

(something i was also thinking about, and my prayer for all of the traveling ministry time in china --> that i want to continue being in a VIBRANT love relationship with Jesus)