tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42800182532615965042024-02-21T01:37:42.410-08:00Running + Throwing Everything Else Asidememories along the walk of faith...Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.comBlogger113125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-32032764276361739392011-05-15T02:24:00.001-07:002011-05-15T02:27:42.291-07:00homesick (countrysick?)Dear Lord,<br /><br />if it is in your will, please bring back there someday. why am i homesick for a country that is not my own? why do you stir my heart for the nations when you keep me here? <br /><br />i feel so homesick that i can't sleep, can't help but remember and pray... Be faithful to your children in Mongolia, Lord!Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-81406799739989825632011-04-03T19:50:00.000-07:002011-04-03T20:05:41.251-07:00hemming clothes and heartsas i repair the old winter conference banner by sewing loose pieces together, God brought this to mind "You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me" (ps 139:5). beautiful, beautiful.<br /><br />hemming brings pieces of cloth together. dresses are hemmed last of all to ensure proper length. in the same way, He has always hemmed my life. been worrying about future mate lately. <br /><br />SURELY the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. what have i to worry about? if God is with us, who can be against?<br /><br />But LORD, i am impatient, hot headed and do not trust your hemming to be perfect and straight. also, sewing takes FOREVER.... let's just roughly staple things together and move on?<br /><br />*sigh* but your works are wonderful, i know that full well. i wait, Lord, but pray that you make sense of a situation where i see no endingAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-5810850930006736862010-11-17T23:47:00.000-08:002010-11-17T23:52:11.983-08:00blessed sacrificeLord, hear the cries of your children in India.<br />be quick to deliver, Savior!Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-35183912139893675602010-10-11T23:53:00.001-07:002010-10-11T23:53:41.270-07:00mom's emailAnnie ,calm down,don:t cry.and be brave. Mom <br /><br /><br /><br />---------------------<br />*sigh* seeing this makes me want to go home.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-44363194623650263302010-09-30T02:56:00.000-07:002010-09-30T03:04:37.951-07:00will i still praise your name?if i must wait for a long time before having spiritual children again.<br />will i hold a grudge against my God?<br /><br />if i never receive the man i wish for<br />will i still praise you name as much as i do in the good times?<br /><br />if Your call is to go somewhere i don't want to go<br />will i follow hard irregardless of judgment and the consequences?<br /><br />... must pray must pray must prayAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-38587805122541266332010-09-14T01:33:00.000-07:002010-09-14T01:36:57.137-07:00slow burn and waiting<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lXBoHx4Jslk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lXBoHx4Jslk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-29865756735680819812010-09-11T15:40:00.000-07:002010-09-11T15:49:13.188-07:00smack in the face.. hahajust found out two of my childhood friends were pregnant/have gotten married and have given birth. <br /><br />Dear Lord, i am 22, single, no children, in a horrid doctoral program where i am aging at 4x the speed i normally would...<br /><br />what am i doing with my life?!!?!?!?!<br /><br />......................................................................<br />lol...<br /><br />and i then i realize how far He's brought me.<br />i've been overseas twice.<br />i've seen a glimpse of God's awesome love for the nations<br />i've been blessed to be a part of it<br />i've been broken over and over and remade by the Maker's hands<br /><br />i'm where i'm supposed to be right now after 4 years.<br /><br />security. in Jesus, in his divine plan, in His love.<br />it's all i want, it's all i need.<br />if His love is better than life...<br />it's definitely better than being a mother<br />it's better than being married<br />therefore, my lips will glorify the King<br /><br />coming back to the heart of worship.<br />i don't want to think myself childish or immature<br /><br />...merely enjoying life. <3<br /><br />(something i was also thinking about, and my prayer for all of the traveling ministry time in china --> that i want to continue being in a VIBRANT love relationship with Jesus)Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-40147284987330024322010-09-11T00:44:00.000-07:002010-09-11T00:52:22.261-07:00waitingi miss you<br />i miss the city<br />i miss the church there<br />i miss the country<br />i miss the culture<br />i miss my children there<br />i miss working alongside you<br />i miss evangelizing<br />i miss interacting with you daily and asking you about your own walk with Him<br /><br />i miss you<br />i miss you<br />i miss you<br /><br />but it's not my time... and God knows best.<br />all i can do is pray and ask:<br /><br />9How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you? 10Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">11Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus clear the way for us to come to you.</span><br /><br />~1 Thess 4:9-11Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-66790696229324107052010-09-02T18:09:00.000-07:002010-09-02T18:18:42.433-07:00falling in love again...haha. with the right "one" this time. oh Jesus, what would i do without you?<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/o2CcYSbJUEA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o2CcYSbJUEA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LgBlhb1yRXs?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LgBlhb1yRXs?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-68662114332546575722010-08-24T01:38:00.000-07:002010-08-24T01:40:51.889-07:00amazedrealizing how little i know of grace<br />and how much greater it is<br />i am perfectly loved and dearly beloved<br />that's it. no more, no less.<br />i am perfectly loved and dearly beloved<br />i am perfectly loved and dearly beloved<br />---------------------------<br /><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DQAPMRpNoe8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DQAPMRpNoe8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-40567122240072377522010-08-22T21:39:00.000-07:002010-08-22T21:41:16.461-07:00directions to ???tell me your plan for the nations<br />and pray, Lord, tell me how i fit into your divine plan<br />you've done so much for me already<br />how can i serve you?Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-40715173470787322152010-08-21T23:54:00.000-07:002010-08-22T00:04:26.006-07:00runningBECAUSE we have the testimonies of all these people of awesome faith<br />THROW OFF hinderances + entagling sin<br />RUN with perseverance in the race <br />FIX our eyes on Jesus (prize!), running after him who ran before us<br />CONSIDER Jesus who endured opposition too<br />DON'T grow weary or lose heart/courage<br /><br />~Hebrews 12:1-3 (Annie style)<br />--------------------------------------------------<br /><br />growing weary and losing heart in my battle against sin.<br />but the Lord has ran this race before and he is the First one<br />i am called to run hard after him.<br /><br />Lord, strengthen my feeble arms and weak knees<br />you're worth it, Jesus.<br />help me to see how much more you're worth it.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aGMOKBki56k?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aGMOKBki56k?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-13832661218375520272010-08-21T02:35:00.001-07:002010-08-21T02:40:24.592-07:00heartsickdear Lord, why now?<br />why is my heart stirred and not quiet?<br /><br />and him? dear God, i cannot be in love with a missionary.<br />it cannot be him. i am unready, he is unready.<br />why does my heart feel like it's left unguarded?<br /><br />no peace, no concentration<br />take it from me, my Lord, i beg you<br />i cannot stand to sin against you any longerAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-73565796854502647352010-08-19T23:53:00.001-07:002010-08-19T23:58:55.506-07:00homesickfrom an old post via facebook: (dated 1/30/07)<br /><br />every night, when i call home, my mom is so excited to hear from me that i can't help but to tear up while listening to her happily recite the events of the day. my throat closes and i can't manage other words besides "yes" "no" and "alright." i'm not quite sure if she can hear the love in my monotonic answers but i do believe one of the best feelings in the world is listening to her love me from 5000 miles away.<br /><br />how greatly i have been blessed!<br /><br />..............................................................<br />even after 3.5 years, i'm pleased to notice that the sentiment hasn't changed.<br />how special a mother's love is!Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-16416077463941133932010-08-16T00:00:00.000-07:002010-08-16T00:01:06.529-07:00impactmom has just given her blessing to go on VSET 2011. <br /><br />but God's got to work wonders gradewise, timewise, jobwise. Lord, i wait for your timing and your divine orchestrationAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-88276835838390257472010-08-14T02:18:00.001-07:002010-08-16T03:15:28.350-07:00a tearing of the heartmy Lord, i love you.<br />but Lord, i think i also love him.<br />yet not my will but yours be done.<br /><br />...<br /><br />you tell me to wait<br />wait on you<br />wait for your timing<br />wait for you to grow me more<br /><br />oh, my God, how my heart burns<br />as i wait on your goodness<br /><br />and i survey your cross and see your love for me<br />in this moment where i love you above all.<br />let it overshadow everything else<br /><br />and Lord, i surrender it to you<br />not just now, but the next moment, and the next<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zg4cYdP1ngw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zg4cYdP1ngw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-11811913621456844412010-06-01T16:52:00.000-07:002010-06-01T16:55:06.323-07:00so good to mei passed this semester. PRAISE THE LORD. he persevered and saved me thorugh 8/100ths of a point. <br /><br />omg<br /><br />my grace is sufficient for thee, made perfect in low gpa times. made oh so perfect in my weakness for when i am weak, then i am strong for the power that was at work in Christ is enough to raise the dead and to raise my gpa. <br /><br />i am in aweAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-56946385645540583782010-06-01T06:32:00.000-07:002010-06-01T06:37:20.882-07:00bigger than the air i breatheLORD,...<br /><br />i know you are larger than my brother or any decisions he makes<br />i know you are more powerful than sin's hold on his life<br />i know you are more precious than the approval of man<br />i know you are transformative, filling, captivating,<br />i know you are God<br /><br />,,,,Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-50192487501336303622010-04-09T23:37:00.001-07:002010-04-09T23:49:28.531-07:00an "ah ha!" momentterrible day terrible day terrible day terrible day<br />whine at God n' cry<br />terrible day terrible day terrible day terrible day<br />annoy people closest to me with more whining<br /><br />whine whine whine whine whine<br />sulk in my room and cry some more....<br /><br />tired of whining, flip open Bible by happenchance<br />pray to God and ask for clarity<br /><br />shown sin, and path to righteousness<br />obey God, ask forgiveness, seek humility<br /><br />and suddenly,<br />the day's not so terrible anymore.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-81067038204413068032010-04-01T22:33:00.000-07:002010-04-05T04:34:39.228-07:00heart problemsnot of me but of a father of a sister close to my heart...<br />------------------------------------<br /><br />Lord, i trust. i know. <br />you've given. <br />and if you take, <br />who are we to say <br />it was ours to start?<br /><br />but above all, YOU ARE GOOD. <br /><br />please Lord, in this time,<br />comfort, comfort my people, you say<br />for our sins have been paid for<br />our striving has ceased<br /><br />for we pray comfort, comfort<br />for our worrisome souls.<br />for our fragile bodies.<br />comfort, comfort <br />even though death has lost its sting<br />it's victory, it's horror<br />before the cross<br /><br />help us, help us<br />to seem, to know<br />that mortal death is but sleep<br />a closing of the eyes<br /><br />for soon we will rise<br />and in this time,<br />sorrow has no place,<br />suffering has no mention,<br />for the dead in You rise first<br />and we who are still alive will join up<br />with them in the clouds<br /><br />and as you promise.<br />THEN... we will be with the Lord forever.<br />as we have always been<br />for "never will i leave you"<br />"never will i forsake you"Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-72228716261568011302010-03-22T13:27:00.001-07:002010-06-01T16:51:52.817-07:00rebuilding the cityJEREMIAH 33:6-8<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">"NEVERTHELESS, I WILL BRING HEALTH AND HEALING TO IT; i WILL HEAL MY PEOPLE AND WILL LET THEM ENJOY ABUNDANT PEACE AND SECURITY. I WILL BRING JUDAH AND ISRAEL BACK FROM CAPTIVITY AND WILL REBUILD THEM AS BEFORE. I WILL CLEANSE THEM FROM ALL THE SIN THEY HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST ME AND WILL FORGIVE ALL THEIR SINS OF REBELLION AGAINST ME."</span><br /><br />promise of restoration.<br /><br />feeling useless lately. as in, not fit for the service of God.<br /><br />if i don't serve, am i not fit for the kingdom of God? <br /> well, if my faith is based on faith and not works. then no. <br /><br />if i'm not used by the church. if people don't come to me for help, am i not fit for the kingdom of God?<br /> well, if my faith is based on Christ's sacrifice, my worth is given by Him, then no.<br /><br />if i feel unwanted, shunted to the side, despised, hated, and unnoticed, am i not fit for the kingdom of God?<br /> well, if my faith is based on God love for me, a sinner, then no.<br /><br />in all these things, i am no less worth than when i was in my full capacity of serving. my worth has already been determined not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God (john 1:13).<br /><br />and so my intrinsic value and worth before the Almighty has been determined. it's set in stone. done. Christ died for me. there is my value, there is my "importance" if you will. my competence comes from him (2 Cor 3:4-5)<br /><br />confidence. that he is my competence (rhyming :D). and my despair before God is of deepest sin because i do not believe His love to be enough.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-296945689238588932010-03-16T00:57:00.000-07:002010-03-16T01:00:53.969-07:00haha momentwas going through my first EVER QT in my first EVER NOTEBOOK from freshman year and i wrote, at the end of it...<br /><br />"obedience is hard but i know you are still stressing the importance of that characteristic to me. May you keep me in your Word always"<br /><br />oh man. and here, 4 years later, im STILL learning how to obey well, willingly, and joyfully.<br /><br />yeesh, talk about life lessonAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-6109025077547976872010-03-14T21:42:00.000-07:002010-03-14T21:47:42.161-07:00longing for heaveni think the only reason i want Jesus to come soon is because i'm tired.<br /><br />i'm tired of who i've become and i don't know how to get back, i don't know how i can ever be redeemed.<br /><br />Lord, you've taken it all away. what more do i have left but you? but what can i do if i only have you? you say faith can move mountains but can faith heal my heart?<br /><br />why does it feel like you're deaf to my cry?Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-18581627464820504342010-03-08T14:47:00.001-08:002010-03-08T14:51:01.238-08:00limitssometimes i feel like i'm so eager to show nonbelievers how i'm not bound by legalism that i end up bound by that reverse legalism to sin.<br /><br />jesus help me seek purity in these times. <br /><br />i don't NEED to go drinking with them all the time<br />i don't NEED to talk about boys nonstop<br />i don't NEED to gossip about who's doing what<br />i don't NEED to complain about my professors<br />i don't NEED to get annoyed or snap back at my roommate<br /><br />... but what i NEED to do is love. and that's where i'm missing the target.<br /><br />-------------------------------<br />midterm tomorrow. <br /><br />convinced that time spent in the Lord, in prayer, and in praise, <br /><br />is never time wasted.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4280018253261596504.post-59800839872566945782010-03-07T23:30:00.000-08:002010-03-07T23:33:57.103-08:00PTL!!!haha, i can't help it. overjoyed that my... DISCIPLER'S GONNA GET MARRIED!!! ... praises upon high! <br /><br />i can't explain it. idk, just hearing that news makes me overjoyed for the two of them.<br /><br />now to hope for God's "happy ending" for me.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15259186673236059522noreply@blogger.com1