homesick

from an old post via facebook: (dated 1/30/07)

every night, when i call home, my mom is so excited to hear from me that i can't help but to tear up while listening to her happily recite the events of the day. my throat closes and i can't manage other words besides "yes" "no" and "alright." i'm not quite sure if she can hear the love in my monotonic answers but i do believe one of the best feelings in the world is listening to her love me from 5000 miles away.

how greatly i have been blessed!

..............................................................
even after 3.5 years, i'm pleased to notice that the sentiment hasn't changed.
how special a mother's love is!

impact

mom has just given her blessing to go on VSET 2011.

but God's got to work wonders gradewise, timewise, jobwise. Lord, i wait for your timing and your divine orchestration

a tearing of the heart

my Lord, i love you.
but Lord, i think i also love him.
yet not my will but yours be done.

...

you tell me to wait
wait on you
wait for your timing
wait for you to grow me more

oh, my God, how my heart burns
as i wait on your goodness

and i survey your cross and see your love for me
in this moment where i love you above all.
let it overshadow everything else

and Lord, i surrender it to you
not just now, but the next moment, and the next

so good to me

i passed this semester. PRAISE THE LORD. he persevered and saved me thorugh 8/100ths of a point.

omg

my grace is sufficient for thee, made perfect in low gpa times. made oh so perfect in my weakness for when i am weak, then i am strong for the power that was at work in Christ is enough to raise the dead and to raise my gpa.

i am in awe

bigger than the air i breathe

LORD,...

i know you are larger than my brother or any decisions he makes
i know you are more powerful than sin's hold on his life
i know you are more precious than the approval of man
i know you are transformative, filling, captivating,
i know you are God

,,,,

an "ah ha!" moment

terrible day terrible day terrible day terrible day
whine at God n' cry
terrible day terrible day terrible day terrible day
annoy people closest to me with more whining

whine whine whine whine whine
sulk in my room and cry some more....

tired of whining, flip open Bible by happenchance
pray to God and ask for clarity

shown sin, and path to righteousness
obey God, ask forgiveness, seek humility

and suddenly,
the day's not so terrible anymore.

heart problems

not of me but of a father of a sister close to my heart...
------------------------------------

Lord, i trust. i know.
you've given.
and if you take,
who are we to say
it was ours to start?

but above all, YOU ARE GOOD.

please Lord, in this time,
comfort, comfort my people, you say
for our sins have been paid for
our striving has ceased

for we pray comfort, comfort
for our worrisome souls.
for our fragile bodies.
comfort, comfort
even though death has lost its sting
it's victory, it's horror
before the cross

help us, help us
to seem, to know
that mortal death is but sleep
a closing of the eyes

for soon we will rise
and in this time,
sorrow has no place,
suffering has no mention,
for the dead in You rise first
and we who are still alive will join up
with them in the clouds

and as you promise.
THEN... we will be with the Lord forever.
as we have always been
for "never will i leave you"
"never will i forsake you"