on beauty (II)

you know Gomer? yeah, the wayward wife, that one... the one that runs off to find her lovers even though she's redeemed by God/Hosea.

what i'm figuring out is... i think i know WHY gomer runs off to be with her lovers.
most of us just credit her adultery to being something in the form of physical lust.
like, she feels sexually unsatisfied with her husband and seeks something more fulfilling...but i think that's just the manifested fruit of a deep root.

you see, i believe the reason why she kept running off is because she didn't believe she was beautiful. as in, she didn't believe she was beautiful in Hosea/God's eyes alone. her heart had to believe that such beauty was not because men desired her, but because she was desired by someone holy

......
.....
....
...
..
.

i'm starting to realize how much i respond to the imagery of the unfaithful wife because, like her, my own sense of beauty is flawed.

while standing at the mirror today, i acknowledged God's view of me being beautiful (regardless of size, pimplage, fat content, PMS-ness, etc). and in that moment, i felt, ever so slightly, a small tip of the iceberg of God's love.

i'm valuable and beautiful because HE LOVES ME. PERIOD. that's it...

scary to realize and makes absolutely no sense logically...