trading beauty for ashes

"to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor"
~Isiah 61:3

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my ashes have been transformed to beauty
just as my mourning to be the oil of gladness
and my spirit of despair to be transformed to a garment of praise

i AM an oak of righteousness.... that feels like a small ugly seeding...

but i think, until i realize these truths and believe in faith... i can not progress in learning His love...

haha... this came up on Yahoo's LAUNCHcast when i was typing out this entry... just enjoyed the late 80s vibe that this song has...

picky about worship?

just came back from the Hillsong concert that was at the L.A. Nokia theatre. honestly, i'm ambivalent about it...

methinks there was too much actions towards God, God done for me...

not enough of pure God worship of his character

of building housing...

"First, fa-th is like a foundation. We build our relationship with G-d and our trust in J-sus on it. Without it, we wouldn’t even be able to see G-d....

Second, gr-ce is like materials, in a spir-tual sense. [It's] not just money, good grades,... but also the deliverance from trouble, the mending of broken hearts, the ability to hear his words, and more. Without G-d’s gr-ce, our lives wouldn’t be much.

Third, pr-yer is like a building. (Oh man, I hope this analogy works out; I only thought of it 3 paragraphs ago.)[sic] Pr-yer is a way to grow closer to G-d – the more you talk to people, the more you get to know them.

Faith is super important. Without faith, my time in KG is meaningless. ... G-d can give me all I want, J-sus can reveal himself to me in person, and I can experience all these crazy spiritual things, but without faith I couldn’t recognize"

~Tim L. (update sent 4/13/09)

hiding pain underneath a smile

To know of loss is to know of love.
yet what we do with this loss,
determines the depth of love that we'll continue to experience.

i cry and berate Him for taking away
what was not mine to begin with?

it's this loss that encroaches at my heart
and i have difficulty learning of what to do with it

glory glory glory

Peace I leave with you, my peace i give you. I do not give to you as the world gves. Do not let yor hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
~John 14:27

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I don't think i realize how much comfort i need to receive until i'm at my breaking point. But then, his love abounds all the more and is made perfect in weakness. As in the verse above, i'm not only given peace at salvation. but i must continually receive it. and then no troubled feelings and no fear.

yet this message of awesome comfort is saddening to my heart as well...

when i was at Cal for ETP, Jo n' I talked to this one woman who believed religion was brainwashing (put in nicer terms). But then she mentioned how she felt responsible for causing her brother's cancer because she belittled him for many years of their childhood.

even as i told her that that wasn't her shame or burden to carry, i could tell that the lies were too strong and that nothing i physically could do or say would change her deep shame.

O my Lord, i realized a glimpse of what your heart is for the lost at that point. But God is gracious, and soveriegn, and doesn't willingly bring affliction or grief (Lam. 3:33).

Faye, i'm still praying for you and hope you find your freedom one day.

sense and sensibility

sometimes i feel as if the hardest command i receive from God is "wait for MY glory"

The body of Christ... like a Cobb salad

From far away, one part is no different from another. Together they form a unified dish. But look close and one sees the olives, lettuce, egg, avocados... and far too many ingredients to count.

All is blanketed by the same white sauce and fragrance. Perhaps, then, the fragrance of Christ and overflowingly covered by goodness known as grace?

The church body should be delicious to the taste; palatable and smooth. Gentle in taste yet firm in texture. Loving in its conduct yet firm in faith.

One does not see bacon revolting and saying, "I wish not to be a part of this, I don't want to associate myself with the rest of the salad!"

For how can we be complete when pieces are missing from the finished product?

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Now you are the body of Christ, and each of you is a part of it.

~1 Corinthians 12:25